better error messages for 'absent' queues in various commands

- move channel:absent/1 to misc, since we need it in multiple modules
- change amqqueue:with/3 s.t. the error fun is invoked with
  not_found|{'absent', Q}.
- let this change ripple through to with/2, making it return either
  error. This in turn has just two call sites
  - in 'queue.declare' in the channel, which we expand to handle the
    'absent' case (producing a descriptive not_found error, as per
    above)
  - in mq_misc:if_mirrored_queue, whose callers currently do not
    handle errors at all - see bug 25236
- let the change also ripple through to with_or_die, handling the new
  'absent' case as above. This takes care of passive queue.declare.
- with_or_die is called by with_exclusive_access_or_die. This takes
  care of basic.get, basic.consume, queue.delete and queue.purge

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