MAINT: Help boost::python libraries at least not crash

This adds an almost random "sanity check" to `PyArray_EquivTypes`
for the sole purpose of allowing boost::python compiled libs to
_not crash_.
boost::python is buggy, it needs to be fixed.  This may break them
(I am unsure), because some conversions which used to work may fail
here (if they worked, they only worked because random type data may
have matched up correctly for our scalar types).

We could error, or warn or... but I hope boost::python will just fix
this soon enough and future us can just delete the whole branch.

Replaces gh-20507

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